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“A = You’re Adorable, B = You’re So Beautiful, C = You’re so Cute and full of Charm…” so goes the line from an old school song. Throwing out catchy lines like these cannot guarantee a “yes” from a girl you’re courting just like flattery and pretending to be someone you are not cannot give a marriage insurance…neither a potential wife having those ABC qualities will do.
Are you preparing just for your wedding or your marriage?
Ponder on these life-changing insights first before you take the plunge into the great unknown.
Love is not just a feeling but a decision…a commitment…not just a noun but an “action” word.
Marriage is not just a life-long bond to each other but a couples’ covenant with God’s rulership over all areas of their lives meaning: you cannot just simply quit when your feelings change for each other, or you seem neglected, not even if the communication with your partner goes awry nor your health, physical appearances and financial status were negatively impacted.
Swearing “till death do us part” signifies your willingness to go through a “process to progress” your relationship from here to eternity.
Jo Anne Meekins observed: “Many people happily enter into marriage with the hope that it will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, some couples are so preoccupied with the immediate benefits of marriage that they fail to thoroughly weigh the realisms involved in a lifetime commitment.”
To avoid turning minor annoyances into major exasperation, here’s a simple equation:
Readiness + Right Person + Right Time + Right Place = Eternal Love Story
The following portion is not a long quiz but sort of an evaluation for the would-be couple–with some tough questions you may answer separately to allow more time to be brutally honest with yourself–the answers of which both sides must discuss together.
Are you ready in most, if not all, of these areas?
Physical– Experts recommend that an engaged pair should go through an intensive medical check-up to see if both are essentially healthy, if any one of them is impotent or have hereditary disease– the result of which the couple must be brave and wise enough to respond to appropriately.
Emotional– Check if any of you is too sensitive to accept his/her mistakes and can apologize whenever necessary. Living together under one roof day-in day-out will certainly give enough room for conflict of interests and values.
Intellectual – Do you both know your weaknesses and strengths? Are you two mature enough to act like your age and think of logical ways to tackle a problem or deal with different people from your network of relationships?
Psychological– What’s your motive for getting married? Do you just want to tie the knot because all your friends are already on that level or simply because you are afraid to grow old alone? How do both of you respond to challenges? Do you fight or flee?
Financial– Do you know how to manage your own money? If you cannot, then it would be harder (but not impossible) for you to budget for you two eventually. Who will handle the money for both of your income? Will you manage it separately? Do any one of you have outstanding debts that can be carried over after the wedding which may give a bad start for your new life together?
Spiritual– Difference in religion can be one of the major sources of dispute between husbands and wives, especially if both feel strongly committed to his/her spiritual expression and neither one is willing to yield to the other.
Other potential areas of conflict if left unchecked are: expectations, roles and duties of a husband and wife, sexual & morality aspects, in-laws, having children, child-rearing, employment, discipline and habits.
PREPARATION IS HALF THE VICTORY
Churches offer engagement seminars and pre-marital counseling while there are also professional marriage counselors and organizations which facilitate compatibility check test to aid a couple towards the right path with this endeavor.
Karl Zinsmeister in The American Enterprise warns: “There is a mountain of scientific evidence showing that when families disintegrate, children often end up with intellectual, physical, and emotional scars that persist for life…. We talk about the drug crisis, the education crisis, and the problem of teen pregnancy and juvenile crime. But all these ills trace back predominantly to the source: broken families.”
So if you think you’re really ready for marriage, think again. Examine your current relationship and get married for the right reasons. Be true to yourself and to your potential mate now or you might spend the rest of your lives lying to each other.
“To be prepared is half the victory,” as Miguel de Cervantes emphasized. It may be best to postpone a wedding and prepare well for marriage than suffer a lifetime of heartaches together…or even apart.