This Facebook message exchange came about after my mother passed away last May 16, 2013 from Colon Cancer Stage IV.

A writer/teacher friend and former office mate, Dana Pablo, sent her lengthy and heartfelt condolence note  as shown below, to which I replied afterwards.

— Dana Pablo’s Facebook Message —

First of all, I would like to extend my condolences. I’m deeply saddened for your loss.Writing Grief

Second, please accept my apologies for not being there with you during your time of grief like you had been when I went thru the same with my mother. I had a journey to cross at that time, part of my healing I guess.

Most of all, I would like to commend you Adrian for a job well done. You have been the most caring brother and son. You had been the father and provider of your siblings and you took over the responsibilities of your parents even when you could have just enjoyed your life on your own.

Know that I admired your courage for staying steadfast through out the storms in your life. Somehow, I get amazed at how you manage to endure all your pain without bitterness in your heart. You are truly God’s son because you have embodied all His teachings and values.

My prayer is not more for you but for your siblings for them to have the same strength that you do to accept whatever pain you are all experiencing right now.

Continue to be an inspiration to them and to all those who have gone and will go through the same ordeal.

I see that you have found the woman that you have been waiting for. I believe, she is God’s reward to you for all that you have endured in your life. May you both be blessed with happiness you so deserve. Keep on Adrian, you are on the right track. God bless you, your partner, and your family more and more!

—- My Reply —-

Hey Dana,

Thank you so much for taking the time and exerting efforts on this novel-like writing. 

I did wish that you and Feli were here at Nanay’s wake but it’s all right. It’s really hard to maintain and grow friendship through the years especially with each of our own distance and other priorities considered.

I wish you well and may you find happiness in the simplest if things daily, and with people you have around you right now.

I pray, Lord willing, that you too would find the lifetime partner that will complement with you. Meantime, know that you are whole and complete by God’s grace, and deeply loved by the Greatest Lover on earth and beyond, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Best Regards,


2 thoughts on “Writing Grief: From One Writer to Another

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