When I ask God to do something, sometimes He does not do it.
When I ask Him not to do something, He sometimes does it anyway.
When I’ve gotten tired of waiting for His signals, I’ve made some wrong turns.
When I can’t feel His love and I turn to human love, it sometimes hurts me even more.
In all these, who am I to complain? Who am I to demand? Even my very life comes from Him.
There are long, sleepless nights and there are rough, heavy days. There are many awfully painful situations, just as there are many awesome blessings.
Sometimes God does not answer so I learned to trust His heart when I can’t feel His hand.
In my darkest moments’ prayers, I often asked God why. But He seldom, if at all, responds to my nitpickings. Sometimes it takes years before I could understand why some things happened in my life. Often, I don’t get it at all.
For years, I tried to figure out His ways. But nearly always, His ways are beyond human understanding.
There is not one particular way that He speaks or works. When I need His counsel, I often get it through His Word, sometimes through people and events. Sometimes He whispers in the stillness of my soul.
Sometimes God does not answer and I wait in silence so I learned to be patient.
He is who He is and I cannot change that. And by His grace, I become who I am. If He’s not in my life, I’d be lost wandering. My life won’t have its meaning.
Now, after all that has happened, I no longer need to always understand why. But I long to always abide by His will. And I hope to always follow His ways, though I often fail, His grace always gets me back on track.
I have stopped complaining and comparing why and how God answer other people’s prayers, while some of mine seemed to be unheard.
Sometimes God does not answer the way I hope Him to answer. But He always answers in His special time and way.
I learned that finding out all the answers does not matter more than my questioning. The quest for answers is often more important than the destination. And who I become in the process, is more important for Him than all my questions and pleas.