Most Filipinos are non-confrontational by nature. That’s why we beat around the bush in explaining things when we’re avoiding a heated conversation. We’re friendly and family-oriented by nature so we veer away from conflict as much as we can.
But then “silent treatment” in relationships is our usual practice too. If only silence could kill, I’m pretty sure death toll in the country would have been oddly evident.
Silence could mean a lot. It could mean yes, no, maybe. But often we’d rather not talk about it because we want to torture the other person and suffer with our silence.
Silence could be beneficial if the person awaits proper timing considering how the recipient would accept, often, the bad news. Also, if I feel like I’ll just be hurting people with words I might utter in the heat of the moment so I just withhold them.
Silence is good too, if we’re trying to be objective as we weigh things to benefit both parties while we assess our feelings.
But so much is at stake with our silence because it can be misinterpreted. When assumptions rule our actions, things get more complicated. That’s because vagueness gets in the way.
Humans need certainty to have a sense of security.
So when we feel like truth is withheld, our emotions wreak havoc and we feel like demanding for the facts so we can get things straight. After all, wrong information leads to wrong actions.
Still, there are so many other thousand reasons why we use silence in our relationships. I learned that sometimes our feelings are either too strong, or cannot be easily expressed in words.
People often hide in their silence than fumble for words. And because we don’t want to rock the boat to cause further relational issues, we let our silence rule, sometimes even to our own detriment.
When someone or something is significant for me, I’d rather say what needs expression at an appropriate time and place, even if I struggle for words. After weighing the possible repercussions, I’d rather take the risk of breaking my silence than not doing anything at all.
On the other hand, I would very much appreciate it, even if I’m on the receiving end of fumbling, possibly hurtful words that would have been left unspoken.
I refuse to kill or be killed by silence.