“Sometimes, the transformations we’ve been waiting for is actually waiting for us, slowly drawing us in over time. Until one day, we break down or give in or simply decide to live differently.”
– Jeff Goins, author of ‘The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing’
Has life dealt you a bad hand? You thought you’re following God’s will because you’re on the fast track. Everything is going smoothly. Then all of a sudden, everything radically changes, and turns against your well-laid plans.
Unexpectedly, something jolts you, breaks your momentum, and leaves you a total wreck. You crash and burn, and you’re left wondering where to go and what to do next.
I am in that off-season. That season of hurting and waiting and searching for my next big thing.
Despite all the efforts I have exerted, while my resources are slowly depleting, I’m still stuck at where I am. Unable to go where I want to go. Unable to do the things I want to do.
I feel like I am not strong enough. Not wise enough. I feel incomplete. Insufficient. I feel like a big loser.
Yet I know that He has a purpose for everything. Yet I think He wants me to learn something in the here and now. Yet I believe that He has a mission for me to accomplish, despite of all the bad things that are happening.
So even if I don’t have all the answers to my nagging questions, I hope to cooperate in the work that He’s doing in and around me in this season. So now I stop striving. I give up fighting. And I give in to His leading.
By His spirit, I will be empowered to do what I’m called to do: whether for myself or for my loved ones. By His sovereignty, I will have the wisdom that I need to guide me in my every decision. With His love, I will feel whole and complete. With His grace, and in His time, I will feel sufficient and fulfilled.
In this painful process of waiting, I realized God is more concerned in who I am becoming, and not in my achievements so far, nor in where I am going.
In the meantime, I will make do of what little I have left. I will be still and do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, and wherever this rough road of life takes me.
In the meantime, I am still hoping, still believing, and most importantly, still growing.