Isn’t it a wonder that more relationships suffer despite the hype and rage of social media?
Isn’t it ironic that though social media, Facebook in particular, is supposed to make communication easier and fun for us; yet studies have shown that Facebook actually makes us lonelier than ever.
These are just some of the ways on how friendships disintegrate in the altar of technology boom and social media.
- Relationships begin to fall apart with assumptions.
You assume that because they’re not liking or commenting on your social media posts, they’re either not interested in you or have unfollowed you, or both.
Just because they’re not liking or commenting on your posts doesn’t mean they’re not seeing it on their social media feed.
It could be any of the following reasons:
- They didn’t see your post because they’re getting too many interesting or junk stuff from other people.
- They did see your post, but they’re too busy to like it or comment on it.
- Or perhaps because your post is not that interesting for them.
There are even times that even if you’re already following someone on Facebook, you’re still not seeing their posts on your newsfeed because you haven’t liked any of their posts recently.
Get this: Facebook actually spoils you by providing you with the kind of posts you often hit like with.
One other realization I had recently was that other people who don’t like or comment on my posts are actually seeing them; they just don’t have the luxury of time to interact with me as often as I post.
That realization happened when an old friend sent me a personal message about one of my posts. All this time I thought we’re no longer friends on Facebook, because there hasn’t been any interaction between us on that platform for months on end, and maybe even years!
- When you unfollow people, a series of unfortunate events usually follow.
For one reason or another, you start to unfollow your friends. That means, you’re no longer seeing their posts on your newsfeed, except when their post gets more like and comments from your common friends.
That may also mean you don’t message them. Then that could eventually lead to you not texting or calling or meeting them.
This may also happen when you start to follow people whose lifestyle you want to imitate, or celebrities who will never follow you because they neither know you personally nor are interested in your life.
Then, next thing you know, you’re no longer as close as before with your real-life friends.
Worse, you feel bitter for not being remembered or noticed. You feel left behind.
Who’s responsible for this anyway?
You don’t expect relationships to stay the same, if you don’t do anything to grow it, or at the very least, do something to maintain it.
3. You expect social media to work for you without your intervention.
When you expect social media to do magic for your relationships without your initiative, you’re in trouble.
Relationships exist, survive, and thrive because of intentionality in action.
We all know that relationships require a lot of time and personal interactions to build and sustain.
Remember, social media is just a platform. What keeps and grows relationships are the people who do the actions, and do them with intention and affection.
Relationships involve emotions. Affection has to be felt.
Don’t let relationships suffer due to your inaction.
Don’t just leave friendships in the altar of social media’s noise and mess, and expect them to grow by themselves. You go initiate the interaction. After all, emotions precede actions.
3 Suggestions to Maintain and Grow Relationships In and Out of Facebook
1. Exchange likes and comments on your friends’ social media platforms.
2. Show that you’re there, and that you care.
3. As much as possible text, call, or better yet meet in person every so often.
Don’t leave your friendships to chance.
Don’t leave them on Facebook.
Be there for them.